Unsteady
by T3hG33k
Summary: Ellie is holding it all together. Really she is. Alright maybe not so well. S1/S2 spoilers
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing, and I make no money off of these stories. The characters aren't mine, I wish they were though. Then again I would probably make them do all sorts of things the shows writers don't like. ;-) 

"It was Joe" He knew then that he had broken her, and he hated it. Every fucking second of it. Even as he crouched in front of her while she retched in the corner he wanted to fix it, to make it better. To stop her pain. Ellie Miller didn't deserve this, she didn't deserve pain. She deserved sunshine and rainbows. She always found the best in everyone, the way she interacted with the people of her town annoyed him. Not for the reason she thought, no it wasn't because he was a heartless bastard. Well he was, but that wasn't the cause. No it annoyed him because he couldn't remember that feeling.

He watched in awe for a few moments before his brain kicked into gear and he knew he needed to stop her from killing Joe. Those kind hands were strong, strong enough to beat the shit out of her child murdering husband.

There are moments during the trial that he wants nothing more than to pull her into his arms and will the pain away. The day he wakes up to find her still in his shack of a home going over his files and her nervous 'I hope that's ok' smile when she tells him he's out of bread makes him feel things he knows he shouldn't. He's dying. She's been through a major trauma. Maybe he should get the surgery. Fix his heart. He's got Daisy afterall. And he can't help but wonder who will look after Ellie...not that she needs looking after. He'd like to though. She seems okay now but he knows she isn't sleeping well.

"Don't be nice to me" she says, but all he wants is to be nice to her. Sandbrook is over. Broadchurch is over, or as over as it ever really will be. Joe is free, the bastard shouldn't be but he is. He knows she blames herself. She shouldn't, but she does. He's glad at least Beth seems to have realized Ellie really didn't know. Took her damn well long enough, Ellie didn't have the face to lie properly. No that woman couldn't lie about something like that, her eyes gave everything away. He had known her no where near as long as her so called best friends and he knew that.

He had to move on, if she'd give him any reason he'd stay. He'd happily stay for her. For those boys. Instead she tells him to not be nice and shakes his hand goodbye. He stands staring at his palm for what seems like an eternity after she leaves. He leaves, moves into an actual presentable flat, gathers his things from storage and stops living out of suitcases in hotel rooms. He texts her every couple of days. She says she's doing great. He fears it's a lie but he has no way to tell. He drives to Broadchurch every couple of months to meet her for coffee, now that he can drive again it's easier. She looks like shite, "Still not sleeping then I take it?" he asks. She calls him a knob and walks out.

It's been nearly six months since his move when Tom calls at nearly ten pm one summer evening. He'd just fallen asleep when his phone began to Buzz, blindly grabbing it off the nightstand he registers Ellies number on the caller ID and answers it, "Miller? Everything alright?"

He knows it's not. She wouldn't call him this late.

"Uhm… DI Hardy? It's...it's Tom. Tom Miller. You told me I could call yeah? If I ever needed anything?"

He sat up in bed quickly. Tom was calling at this hour? "Tom! Mate what's wrong?" His question is met with silence, "Tom?"

"It's...it's mum. See Fred and I have been at Aunt Lucy's to give her a break. I had Olly bring me home tonight, said I needed to get somethings and I'd be back in the mornin'...but mum was already in bed and she won't wake up. She's breathing though!" He added quickly, "I think she maybe took one of her pills. She doesn't sleep much, just cries at night I always hear her. But...but there's lots of wine gone. I… I didn't want to call Aunt Lucy and I didn't know who else to call…"

He listens to the boys rambling as he pulls on his trousers and a shirt. Pinning the phone between his shoulder and his ear he works on the buttons, "I'm on my way Tom. I'll be there in half an hour or so. Did you lock up behind you when you came in? Alarm set?"

"Yeah...yeah I locked up. Mum hadn't done that yet before she went to bed." There was more. More he should say, "I saw Da...Joe."

"What!?" He didn't mean to shout, he knew Joe had been promptly packed off and told to stay the hell away, "When and where did you see him Tom? Did he try to contact you?"

"After...after I got home I locked up and checked on Mum. Her curtains were open so I went to shut them and he was outside just staring up at the house."

"I'm getting in the car now. If he comes to the door call the station. I'm going to have someone come round to check. You're a brave boy Tom. I'll see you soon."

" 'kay...hurry please. Bye" Tom hung up the phone and climbed into the bed next to his mother.

Alec looked at his phone and rang up the Broadchurch station. Requesting a car be parked outside of Ellie's house and having one sent to Lucy's. It didn't take much convincing to get what he wanted once he told them Joe had been spotted. Why hadn't anyone been informed Joe was no longer where he was supposed to be? He'd be giving his contacts a good bollocking before this was all over. The distance couldn't be crossed fast enough. At least there wasn't any traffic this time of night. Still it seemed to take forever.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Still don't own them. Still wish I did. Still no money...I do take payment in chocolate, crisps, and tea however...

The kids were gone. It had sounded like a great idea at the time. "I'll take them a few weeks El. Let you get stuff sorted. Clean up without Fred underfoot. And for fucks sake get some sleep!"

She had done nothing. Picked at take away for a couple nights, tried to watch tv. Decided she was disgusted with the house, but not enough to do anything about it. She was so tired. So very tired. Sleep just wouldn't come. She'd bought a new bed and rearranged the bedroom first thing when they returned to the house. Burned the mattress, the bed frame, the bedding, in a hole on the beach. It'd made a nice fire, it had been a release of sorts. But still...sleep wouldn't come. She had moved the rocking chair up there even, in hopes of falling asleep in it like she had when Fred was tiny.

She'd carried the last bottle of wine up with her this time. Hadn't even bothered with a glass, bottle was near gone anyways. Yanking the drawer at her bedside open she fumbled around for the bottle of pills she knew was in there. She couldn't very well take them when the kids were home. Someone had to be conscious if Fred woke, or if there was an emergency. Sitting on the bed she took a drink from the wine and eyed the pills wearily.

How many times had Joe left her alone with the children after she had taken one? She didn't take them often really...but the thought was always there now. Nagging her in the back of her mind. Groaning she set the pills down and pinched the bridge of her nose. So tired. Everything was tired. She hadn't slept since that night she had been forced to share a bed with Hardy. Something she most certainly did NOT want to investigate the cause of further. Grabbing the pills again she opened the bottle and shook one out. Damn the 'do not mix with alcohol' warning, at this point her blood type was quite possibly 'red wine'. Tossing the pill into her mouth she swallowed it with the last of the wine, knocking one more pill out and setting it on the nightstand she capped the rest and set them and the now empty wine bottle down before lying in bed, turning off the light, and hoping for the best.

Alec drove as quickly as he could, grabbing his mobile when he entered the town of Broadchurch he sent a message both to Tom's phone and Ellie's. i"I'm in Broadchurch, be there in a moment."/i

Tom jumped as his phone and his mom's phone buzzed at the same time. He let out a relieved sigh as he read it, climbing out of the bed he made his way down to the front door to wait. He could see the car parked outside and knew that there were officers inside keeping an eye out. He watched as another car pulled up and came to a stop. Alec climbed out and barely shut the door before he was taking the front steps, he didn't even have to knock before Tom unlocked the rest of the locks and threw the door open.

Alec was caught off guard when the teenager threw his arms around the man in a hug. It took a stunned moment before he simply returned the gesture and inched them both inside before shutting the door. "S'alright. I'm here now."

Taking a few moments he glanced around the darkened house, he could tell it was a mess from the odd smells. Take-away, garbage, dishes. They were piled up and it wasn't like the Ellie he remembered at all. She may not have been the one to do the bulk of the cleaning before, he honestly didn't know...but he knew she wouldn't want her children living in this.

He kept rubbing Tom's back lightly, "We'll get this sorted mate. I promise, I won't leave 'til it's done."

Tom loosened his grip, stepped back, and looked up at Alec, he was embarrassed but he still met the other man's eyes full on. "I've been trying...trying to help keep things cleaned up. I…"

"You've done well. Do y'think you can sleep? It's late, you go sleep and I'll get things taken care of yea? Of if you want I can call Olly to come pick you back up?"

He heard a snort from the teen, "Olly's probably still terrified of you...I'll sleep here and go back tomorrow first thing yea? Even if mum isn't awake yet…"

"Alright." He gave Tom's shoulder a squeeze, "Which room is your mums then? I'll check in on her first."

He followed Tom up the stairs and down the hall, looking in on Ellie and finding her dead to the world. There wasn't much he could do yet, oh he was going to give her a good bollocking that was for sure. First though he would deal with the house as best he could since he was awake now, may as well make himself useful. Tom had gone to his room and left the door open partway. He could hear soft snores coming from the room already. With a smirk he headed back down stairs and out to his car for his bag and then locked up the front door behind him when he came in. He couldn't set the alarm of course, but it would have to be alright.

With that he dove in. Dishes done, a load of laundry started once he found the soap, garbage gathered. It was a start, she needed food he noted. He'd send Olly on an errand first thing in the morning. Dragging himself back upstairs with his phone in hand he pulled the chair up next to her bed and sat down in it. Waiting for the pills and the wine to wear off.

It was in the early morning sunlight that he noticed the shirt she was wearing. The bloody shirt he'd been looking for for weeks. He thought he had left it in a hotel somewhere, but no she had it still. Must've been the day Fred had knocked her tea over and she'd needed something to wear while they finished the work they were doing on the Sandbrook case. He laughed softly and shook his head. Women were such odd creatures.

Resting his elbows on his knees he leaned forward and let his head hang. He'd text Olly in a few minutes. If he didn't fall asleep himself first anyways.


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclosure- I still don't own them. In fact I probably cause them far more trouble than they deserve!_

Tom wakes him at nearly 5:30 am. He wakes with a start and glances around the room taking in his surroundings.

"Uhm… Mums still out. I tried to call Olly but his mobile is off so I called Reverend Coates. He's gonna be here in a few to pick me up, I asked him to bring some food cause I saw there was nothing here. Told him you were gonna take care of things what with Joe and all. Just..just wanted you to know." Tom's whispered ramblings came far too quickly, far too soon after he'd opened his eyes.

"Thank you Tom. I'll catch him. Make things right again yeah? I'll come by later and check in on you." The knock on the door brought him up out of his seat and he let Tom lead the way. There was no sudden hug this morning, he gave the boy's shoulder a squeeze and nodded at the Reverend. "You did the right thing. Calling me. I'm proud of you."

He watched as they left and locked the door behind them. Changing out the laundry he started another load and lugged the bin of dry clean clothes up stairs. He sat in the rocking chair and folded them all neatly, trying to avoid pawing at Ellies underthings too much. In fact he didn't bother to fold them, just shoved them into a pile that he then pushed into the basket when it was empty, the folded clothes being stacked on top.

Checking the time he resumed his earlier position, elbows on his knees, hands clasped together out in front of him and his head hanging as he waited.

She could smell him, still mostly asleep her mind went to the shirt she'd been wearing and she shifted a bit. She didn't want to wake up like this, nor did she want to wake up yet period. He'd left. Made his choice and gone with it. Tears pricked her eyes before she even opened them, she blindly reached for the pill she'd left on the nightstand.

He had straightened up when she began shifting about, he didn't want to wake her until she was ready. The look on her face though was killing him, even with her eyes closed she looked so...pained. So sad. When she reached for the pill he'd swept away hours ago he reached out, capturing her wrist with his hand. It was a dangerous move, the woman had broken her ex husband's ribs. He knew she could break him without a second thought. When he spoke he kept his voice soft, just loud enough for her to hear it...he hoped. "Ellie...wake up. It's time to wake up now."

She yelped, and scattered away from him across the bed, very nearly falling off the other side. Wide eyed she stared at him as he sat there in the chair. "What… why… for fucks sake what is going on here?!"

"Tom called me last night." He held up a hand to stop her interrupting, "he came to get something and you wouldn't wake up and then he saw Joe outside. Don't panic now Ellie…"

She interrupted him then, "Don't call me that! You don't call me that! Where's Tom? Where's Joe?" Scrambling out of the bed she stumbled over the pile of dirty clothes on the floor and cried out as a pair of strong arms came around her waist keeping her upright. She hadn't seen or heard him move.

"The boys are fine Miller. They're safe. I've got surveliance outside here and Lucy's. Coates picked Tom up this morning, he wanted to get back to Fred so you wouldn't worry. He's worried about you, and he is damn right to as well." He kept hold of her even as she struggled against him.

"Let go of me! Let me go! I need to go!"

"No. Miller no. You're going to get your arse in that bathroom and shower. After you shower you're going to sit down and eat something and we are going to talk." He felt her sag against him. The fact that she'd given in so quickly worried him. "Do ye need me to stand outside the door to make certain you do it? Or can I get breakfast on?"

"Just go. I'll shower I promise."

He nodded, taking a few moments before loosening his arms, "There are clean clothes in the basket there. Didn't fold yer knickers though that's on you." Turning her to face him he searched her face intently, "We're going to fixt his Miller. We're going to get this shit sorted. You have my word."

She squirmed under his gaze and then nodded. Slipping out of his arms she poked through the basket for a change of clothes, heat rising to her face as it dawned on her that he'd washed her clothes. It didn't help when she heard him scoop her clothes off the floor and head down stairs either.

Alec stood in the kitchen scrubbing at his face with both hands. He could tell things were bad, but seeing her awake had confirmed they were worse than he thought. He got the laundry swapped around and waited for the shower to shut off before starting the wash again. Coates had brought groceries at least, he had oatmeal going on the stove and was currently folding the laundry he'd taken out from the last load he swapped around. He didn't rightly care if she was offended or embarrassed, he would deal with that later.

When she finally began descending the stairs he pulled a clean bowl out and began spooning a healthy serving into it before doing the same with a second bowl. "How do you like your oatmeal Miller?"

"I don't. Where are my car keys?"

"Not a bloody clue, with any luck Tom took them with him. SIt down." He added milk and a bit of butter to both bowls and turned, waiting for her to sit as he'd told her to with a raised brow. When she sat he set her bowl in front of her and sat down in the next chair. "Eat. We've got things to deal with and work to do."

Alec watched as she moved the cereal around the bowl, "I'll feed you if I must. I've dealt with a toddler refusing to eat before."

He saw a fire light in her eyes, and carefully hid his grin. She threw daggers at him as she began eating. It only took two bites before it seemed she realized she was starving and began eating with a bit more zeal.

"Right then. Joe's back. Got people on that. Tom and Fred are taken care of and under watch. Just you to worry about now. Talk to me?"

"Sod off Hardy. Thanks for all this, you can go now tho. Leave again." She refused to look at him. Refused to meet his gaze. When his hand came across the table to raise her chin she flinched away from him.

He hated it. Pulling his hand back he simply stood and collected their bowls and began washing them. He didn't expect her attack from behind. His breath left him with an oof as she hit him full on with her own body. Turning around he grabbed hold of her, stopping her hands from beating on him as he slid them both down to the floor. Her on her knees between his long legs, his arms wrapping around her tightly and pulling her to his chest. "It's okay Ellie. Let it out."

"I hate you! God I hate you!" She stopped trying to hit him as soon as he'd turned and taken hold of her, "I want to hate you so badly. You left me! You left us!"

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He rocked her gently, letting his cheek come to rest on the top of her head. After a few moments he shifted them, lifting her far too easily to set her legs across his lap making it more comfortable for both of them. "Dinnae know you wanted me to stay."

Bringing a hand up he brushed her damp curls back before turning her face up so he could meet her gaze. "I'm here now." When she tried to kiss him, he gently denied her. "No. Not like this." He could see the hurt pass across her face and he brought his forehead down to hers again, "Don't think I don't want to, but it needs to wait until we're in a better place."

She fought to pull away from him and he eased his grip, but didn't let go all the way. "I mean it Ellie. I do want very much to kiss you, but we need to get things right first."

With a nod she reached forward to pluck at the wet spot she'd left on his shirt. "Sorry…"

"Ach, shut up Miller. Get up then so I can get off this floor. We need to finish cleaning up, and get some food in your cupboards. And we need to visit the station."

Once she was up he got himself up off the floor as well, "You know I've been lookin' everywhere for that shirt you had on earlier. Thought I must've left it in a hotel somewhere, but no. Ellie bloody Miller knicked it and never gave it back."

Another mental high five for himself as he saw another familiar old look cross her face if only briefly. Moving to the door he pulled his trainers on, the only pair of shoes he brought. They clashed horribly with his trousers, but they would do. "Snap to it Miller. Shoes on let's go!" Grabbing his keys and wallet he waited for her on the porch.


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer:_ _All recognizable characters, cities, and names belong to the powers that be. And those powers are not me. I'm just a little minion with too much trouble to cause for my own good._

The sound of her quick steps caught his immediate attention and he turned and shoved himself back through the door before she could slam it. "Not happenin' Miller. I made a promise to Tom and I'm not 'bout to break it."

"Sod off!" She wanted to throw things at him, unfortunately all she could get her hands on were coats that were hanging on a hook near her head. "You don't get to just come back 'round and start tellin' me what to do. You're not my bloody boss anymore Hardy."

Embarrassment, anger, resentment, rejection, and fear were all rolling around within her and it was a volatile combination. She turned her back on him and simply walked toward the living room, "Just leave me alone."

He followed her and when she dropped down on the couch pulling a throw over herself, he sat on the coffee table across from her. "Can't do that, Ellie do you understand that Joe was standing outside your house last night? You were here with the doors unlocked out cold in your room. Mixing wine and sleeping pills for Christ sake! If Tom hadn't come home…" He choked on his words, struggling with the thought of something happening to her.

"M'fine. I'm a big girl Hardy, you left once you can do it again. Don't usually take the pills anyways."

"That's what this is about? My leaving? How was I to know you wanted me to stay?!" He felt his voice raising even as she sat up again fully on the couch, the fire in her eyes coming back once more, "Barely even put up with a handshake goodbye!" He grunted as her small fists came in contact with his person. It wasn't until one well lined shot right over the scar from his pacemaker incision that he gasped. It rarely bothered him but if he pressed the wrong way it twinged.

Ellie's eyes widened and she covered her mouth with both hands. "Shit Hardy! Shit I ... "

"S'fine Miller… Just a bit sore sometimes." He rubbed at his chest a few moments longer before looking up to meet her eyes. "Beat on me all you like, just a this general area please…" He motioned to his chest, the areas of his pacemaker and incision scar.

"Everything is so fucked up. I can't...I'm sorry… I'm such a mess... "

"Well you're not as much of a mess now.. At least you don't smell of old clothes and wine now."

"Knob."

He grinned ever so slightly, "So...not goin' out then. I'm gonna give Pete a call see if they've made any headway findin' Joe. Then we're goin' to have a talk Ellie. A proper talk."

She fought the urge to groan, and sank back down on the couch, pulling the throw back into place around her shoulders tightly and half lying down. When he left the room she fumbled for the phone on the side table and called Lucy, checking in on the boys. Letting her know that Hardy was there. She tried to talk Lucy into bringing the boys home early, but even Tom told her they were staying put. Olly bought a new game for the xbox anyways. It took more courage than she thought she had left to end the conversation by telling Tom how thankful she was, and proud she was of him for calling Hardy. Even if she was pissed off at the man in question still.

He returned with a pair of tea mugs, easing down onto the couch by her feet holding a mug out to her. "Why didn't you say you wanted me to stay?"

"Didn't feel like my place. You needed to be close to Daisy, I understood then, I understand now.I'll get the hang of this on my own thing eventually."

"Only see her when she's got time, sometimes for a weekend. If I'm lucky. Guess nothing I couldn't have done from here." He shrugged, "Thought 'bout calling...but I dinnae wanna make things worse for you. Seemed like you were friends again with the Latimer's...thought you'd be looked after."

She rolled her eyes and set the still full mug on the side table near her head, "My husband killed her son. No matter how much she smiles and says she knows now I didn't know that cloud will always be there. They have their own life and their own troubles."

"Why didn't you call? Or text even?"

With a shrug she gazed out the window at the unmarked car keeping an eye on her house.

"We're a right mess aren't we?" Setting his own mug down he resumed his position from the morning, bent over, elbows on his knees and his head hanging loose. "I'm sorry I left, and I'm so very sorry I didn't keep contact."

"Stop being nice to me Hardy."

"Dammit Ellie! I want to be nice to you. I want to call you something other than Miller and that is somewhat terrifying on it's own." Scrubbing at his face he stood and paced to the window, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Ye tried to kiss me earlier. You think I'd kiss ya when I can't even call you by your name?"

She just grunted softly in response.

"We need to get things straightened out. I'll stay in Tom's room until he comes back then I'll stay on the couch. I'm not leavin' ye alone until Joe is caught." Until you are healthy again, he added mentally. Keeping his back to her as he spoke, he hadn't heard her move until her arms were wrapped around him from behind. "Then we'll figure out the rest of life along the way…"

"Thank you Ha...Alec. Don't grimace like that I can feel it in your back even. You get to call me Ellie it's only fair I get to call you Alec."

"Aye… I'll get used to it. Now are we going to get some food or are we goin' to have to live on take away for another night?"

"Fine. I'll get my shoes on." And she did. He reminded her to set the alarm before leading her to his car with a hand on his back. Giving the officers in the car a nod before driving off.

If only any of them had spotted the man well hidden in the tree he had climbed while fleeing from the sirens the night before. Suddenly he was wondering if those affair accusations were true, and he felt his blood boiling.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I own nothing, especially not Broadchurch or any recognizable characters.

Joe Miller was a patient man. Patient enough to wait in that damned tree until he saw the officer out front pull away. Another would be there any time he was sure, but it was the window of opportunity he needed. It had been obvious that Ellie had changed things when he watched her make sure the door was locked, but he was certain there were things that she hadn't changed. Like the way she kept the bedroom window open until it was damn near Christmas.

Shimmying down onto the roof he carefully climbed around to the back side of the house where he would be blocked from view. Crawling along the roof he came to the bedroom window and grinned when he found it open, only part way and it was only just barely enough for him to climb through, but climb through he did. Taking in the new colour on the walls, and the messed up bedding. He growled, the thoughts going through his mind were far from the facts...but his defense had said they were having an affair. That Hardy bloke had been a little too close to his Ell for Joe's liking. Storming the few steps to the bed he ripped the bedding off with another growl and shoved the sheets into the bin. Throwing open the closet where he'd always stored the linens he found a clean set of sheets and proceeded to make the bed. That was better.

So many memories in this room, so many good times. He would have to right things. Their pictures were gone off the bedside tables. He began opening drawers and rifling through her belongings. His were gone, that'd need to be fixed up too, but first the photos. Ah! There they were, bottom of the dresser shoved under a stack of jumpers. Grunting he stood and placed them on the bedside tables, in their proper places. He knew he didn't have too long. This would have to do for now. Pulling a folded envelope from his pocket he pulled a packet of papers out and tore them into quarters before tossing them onto the bed. Slipping out of the room he left a letter on top of Tom's bed. He would win them back if it was the last thing he did. Climbing back out the window he carefully climbed down until he was able to simply drop down to the ground. He heard car doors opening and did the only thing he could, he ran.

Alec had taken Ellie out of town to get the shopping done. He could tell she was still tired and being around so many people had seemed to drain her more. It was worrying, she'd always loved people in the time he'd known her. He let her unlock the door and deactivate the alarm system before following with bags in either hand.

"Why don't you go have a sit down? I'll put this away and make you a cuppa?" He tried, the look on her face told him that was the opposite of what was going to happen.

"Though it appears you've gone through my things already, I am quite capable of putting my own groceries away."

He tried to protest, but she gave him a bit of a shove and he put his hands up walking outside to speak with the new officer on duty, by the time he made his way back inside the groceries were put away and Ellie was leaning heavily on the counter.

"Why? Why did you come in here and clean up my mess?" She had finally taken a decent look around, her shame and embarrassment hung heavily around her shoulders like a weight.

He shrugged, "I was awake and it was somethin' to do. Hoped it'd help a bit...seemed to make Tom feel a lil more at ease. If it was wrong...I appologize…"

She shook her head and straightened up, "I'm shit at this. Bein' a mum...bein' alone. I don't know how..." She groaned and ran her hands over her face turning away from him again to poke around in the fridge simply for something to do.

"You are not. So stop that right now. We're goin' to get this all straightened out, and it'll be fine."

"And then what? You'll leave and go back to your life and we'll just get with our life?"

Pinching the bridge of his nose he let his hip rest against the counter "I plan on stayin' as long as you need me to...or want me to. I'm sure I can get my little blue house back. Or a room at The Traders once Joe is caught. Til then the couch won't kill me… "

She felt the rage boiling up again and instead of lashing out she simply closed her eyes and let her forehead rest against the now shut refrigerator door. "I hate you."

"Aye so ye've said. C'mon then. We've got that movie you couldn't live without might as well watch it before it's late enough for dinner yea?"

"I should be out lookin' for Joe. Not here watching the telly…"

"No you shouldn't be out there, we don't know what he'll do and we don't need you locked up for murdering him."

"I don't need a bloody babysitter!"

"Oh shut up and go sit down woman! You're drivin' me mad."

His hand on her shoulder made her jump and flinch away but she grabbed the chocolate biscuits and marched off into the living room all the same.

The movie had ended and they mindlessly flipped through channels on the telly to kill the time. She'd spent a few minutes talking with Tom and Fred, then passed the phone off to Alec who spoke with Tom for a few minutes as well. It was all so...weird and yet… not at the same time. It felt right, which only served to push that anger up once again. Realistically she knew she had nothing to be angry about. Not with Alec. She'd not asked him to stay, she hadn't reached out to him either so she was just as much to blame when it came to the silence between them for so long.

She'd shuffled into the kitchen, not all that hungry but knowing she should eat and poked around until she had stuff out for spaghetti. It was easy and quick at least. They ate in near silence and she found that she didn't really mind for a change. It wasn't until he was clearing the dishes away that she found the courage to really speak again, "How's Daisy then?"

Alec glanced over his shoulder with one of his rare smiles, "Good as can be I spose. Don't get to see her all that much, busy as she is with school and friends. But she's taught me to use that video chat thing so that's nice."

She found a faint smile pulling at her face, she half expected it to hurt it had been so long since she'd done it. "I'm glad you're talking again."

"Aye me too." He finished the dishes and stretched. "Right then. I'm knackered, I know it's early still but I dinnae get much sleep last night. Do ye mind if I just use your shower and make up the couch?"

She shrugged slightly, she didn't want him to be here when the nightmares started. They always started unless she took those damned pills, and she wasn't about to take them again tonight. "Nah it's fine."

Studying her he took the chair he'd sat in and pulled it out so that he was sitting next to her, firm but gentle fingers took hold of her jaw and brought her face up so he could look her straight on. "What is it?"

She tried to flinch away but there was something there, something in his eyes that made her keep still. "I don't sleep much, I'll try to keep from waking you though."

"When was the last time you actually slept? And don't dare say last night because you weren't sleeping you were unconscious."

Her cheeks flushed and she gazed at his throat rather than his face, "The night in Sandbrook...when they lost my booking."

He only took a few moments to think back to that night. "Do you...I mean would it help... " Dropping his hand he sighed, he couldn't think of a way to word his question that wouldn't sound...bad. "Would it help if I stayed in your room tonight? I can sleep in the chair again...or on the floor."

"Just.. you can sleep on top of the covers, and I can sleep under. I don't want to be alone." She refrained from adding the, "I'm scared" but she couldn't keep it off her face, and she knew he could read her better than anyone else ever had.

"Set the alarm then. We're turnin' in early… and I don't know the code."

"It'syourbirthday" she mumbled

"What's that? You say it was my birthday? Why on Earth would it be my birthday? And how do you even know it?" He was shocked for sure, but there was a glint of amusement in his eyes.

"Not like I had much else i could use yea? Not my birthday, or Toms, or Freds… can't bloody well use my anniversary." She shrugged taking a chance to meet his gaze again, "And em...I may have. Well when I went to see you in Hospital that first time...when you tried to die on me yea? I may have uhm. Ilookedinyourchart." The last bit rushed out of her mouth all at once and she gave him that nervous grin of hers.

"Of course you bloody well did." Rolling his eyes he stood and put his chair back where it belonged before checking the locks on the doors and collecting his bag while he waited for her to set the alarm. No sooner had he shut the bathroom door and stripped his shirt off did he hear her scream from the bedroom.


	6. Chapter 6

Authors Note: I'm soooo sorry! I've tried fixing chapter 6 quite a few times and I have NO CLUE why it keeps coming up as html on this site. Here is a totally new upload for you. I'm trying to find my writing mo-jo again, even my novels have been sitting untouched for months. Here's to hoping it comes back soon!

Alec had thrown the bathroom door open and ran towards her room only to be barrelled into by a blur of curly brown hair. Instinctively his arms came up around her as he stumbled backward into the wall with a grunt.

"What is it? What's happened?"

"He was here. God Alec, he was here!" She pushed past him and made a dash for the bathroom where she slammed the door shut and proceeded to be sick.

It was in that moment that Alec realized how terrified of Joe coming back Ellie actually was. He knew she quite obviously hated him for very valid reasons. Yet she had hardly reacted at his news that Joe was in town before. Knocking lightly on the bathroom door he cracked it open, "Just need my shirt. I'll take care of things."

He picked his shirt up off the floor and exited, shutting the door behind him gently, before she could throw him out. Right. SOCO would need to be called, officers chewed out, and he needed to get her out of here. Dressed once again he shoved his feet into his trainers and stormed out to the car parked out front.

Ellie could hear his shouting from her place on the bathroom floor. She knew the officers were going to get a good bollocking. Once upon a time, she would have rushed to tell him to calm down. At present, however, she simply felt violated. Somewhat terrified and quite lost. She'd lost track of how long she had locked herself away in the bathroom. She heard Alec giving orders and the sound of SOCO traipsing about her house.

The light tap on the door made her jump, "Ellie?"

"Go away."

Resting his forehead against the door he sighed, giving Dirty Brian a glare as he stopped to stare with a smirk. "Shove off." Without further warning, he opened the door and stepped inside shutting it behind him. "Not arguing with you through the door while that lot is all here."

She had at least moved to sitting on the closed toilet, rather than crouched in front of it. He could tell she had been trying to calm herself down and he knew she wasn't much for hugging it out either. Leaning against the sink he crossed his arms over his chest, "We're going to pack you a bag and get anything the boys will need, pick them up, and go for a while. Alarm system and an officer out front are quite obviously not enough…"

"I left the window open."

"What?"

"The bedroom window. I almost always have it open. Didn't even think of it."

"This is not your fault. If it's anyone's fault it's the jury for letting him free. Come on then. SOCO is going to clear out long enough for you to pack a bag."

Standing she nudged him out of the way so she could splash a bit of cold water on her face, she twitched slightly but didn't shrug him off when his hand came to rest on her back.

"We're goin' to catch him. They've got his prints already showing he's been in the house recently. We'll put him away this time."

She nodded mutely and motioned for him to open the door, once he'd done so she crossed her arms over her chest and made her way into her room. Embarrassed at the thought of SOCO going through her house yet again. Violated at the thought of Joe poking around too, as she passed the boys bedrooms she noticed the paper on Tom's bed and growled. "He was in there too. The bloody bastard was in Tom's room."

She was on the verge of storming in and tearing the offending item up when a strong arm came around her waist and hauled her back before she could even touch the door frame.

"Don't touch it, Miller. Go on. Pack a bag."

She struggled against him for a few moments before the fight left her and she nodded. She knew he was right even if she wanted to rage. She wanted to tear the offending paper to shreds but that wouldn't help. Everything in her mind was a jumble, a constant battle and she felt herself spiraling out of control. She attempted a faint smile for her former coworkers before packing her bag and heading for the front door. The boys had everything they would need at Lucy's house already.

She handed her house keys and alarm code off to Dirty Brian. She could joke about him all she wanted, but she was relatively sure she could trust him. She'd still change the code...and possibly the locks anyways. Joe had done that to her. Joe had made her paranoid. She remembered when she rarely locked the doors period, and now this is what she'd come to. Alec joined her with his own bag in hand and took her bag from her. "Lucy has wee Fred's seat yea?"

"Mhmm." She automatically headed for her car, it wasn't until Alec was calling to her from his that she realized he was standing next to his waiting for her. The drive to Lucy's house was silent, Alec took charge of getting Fred's seat in and Tom was happy to help load their bags and the travel cot. When Ellie emerged from the house with a sleeping Fred in her arms she didn't expect to see the pair of them actually having a conversation. Seeing Alec's hand on Tom's shoulder shook her more than she anticipated. Maybe….maybe they would be alright with the man she vowed to hate first for stealing her job and then again for walking out of her life was on their side.


End file.
